I feel crazy and know it and I need perspective fellas

[Jon B]

Ok so I’m in deep Smit and it’s unsettling in an intoxicating way.

I’m separated and 42 with 2 girls. It’s been a very long time since I’ve dated or met a girl that really stirs me. Anyway here’s the situation.

I met a very lovely and beautiful woman at the climbing gym last Tuesday when I was there with my daughter. I saw her made eye contact/smile and got a smile so I went over to say hi. She was with her friends, but she was very receptive. She even engaged with my little girl and stuck around to belay me after her friends took off.

Got her number and she texted first the next day. We were in fairly close rapport for the rest of the day. Made plans for big things in the future lol! Made a date for Thursday which went very well.

Got all the buying signals, she laughed with my jokes and flirted back. Took her hand on the walk and she suggested we grab a glass of wine at a lovely park cafe.

Conversation flowed easily and we vibed very well. We have a lot of common ground. No hesitation when I went in for the kiss.

Spent the rest of the date on cloud nine and dropped her off. Lovely kiss, she even pulled back to say I could put my hands on her butt lol! I knew instinctively we weren’t going further so I just went home

Friday we texted all day and I kinda stopped when it felt appropriate. She’s a firefighter and was on a 24 shift and was busy. Next day I knew she’d be tired AF and busy so I haven’t sent anything. Again I knew today she’d be busy, so I’m not texting.

Just trying to live my life and not come on too strong. I’m actually shocked how into her I am. I can feel it in my guts and haven’t been this excited in a very long time. I know she likes me for sure. It’s crazy I feel this nuts after not even a week and only one date.

My plan was to just have a good rest of the weekend and post another great day in the mountains on IG tomorrow.

We’re going to the same concert on Wed, but she’s there with the girls so I want to keep my distance out of respect for her space with the ladies.

In the meantime I feel I should wait till she reaches out.

I’m being very self critical even though all the evidence points towards a very positive situation. Just trying to be objective and relax and enjoy this process as it unfolds naturally.

I’m kinda looking for validation I’m on the right track or any suggestions on how to relax and not worry about fucking up. Girls like her are actually pretty rare to encounter.

I also know I can probably find and approach another amazing woman who also shares a similar life. It’s just frustrating that my feels are so intense right now and not doing anything is difficult. It’s very undude of me. I know I should to do nothing or very little for now in the interest of space and knowing where we’re at which is just a girl I met last week.

Again this has caught me off guard. Last week at this time I was perfectly fine lol! All of this is brain chemistry but it feels intense.

Thoughts? Tell me to chill the fuck out

Thanks for reading

[Kevin M]

I think the TSM material is really good for some game.
But: as they say in the material, it doesn’t help with real relationship stuff.

I really like the GFAS for dating skills. I really like the 3 ladders.
So it seems like you have passed impression and now are in inspection (step 2) (for her). You seem in love (step 4)
In the second column, she is engaged (beginning of step 2), and you are chasing (step 3).
In the third column, you are both in step 2 I guess.

I like the concept “push sexuality until she is ready for sex” this was really good advice. You don’t need to think about your advances if you take this approach, because there is no set time that it has to happen, and simultaneously you will take opportunities naturally to advance things without thinking (from the material). This would be for the checkpoints, which you are asking about.

This means you need to slow it down on the first few columns (obsession story and investment ladder) and match her, and you can do this by loving yourself and your life more.

None of this matters if she is not the right woman for you. I like some of the Tony Robbins teachings for selecting the right mate, seems like common sense, and I would point you there to spend some time on that question.

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